Coming Out of Hibernation....

  Hello internet, I'm back! I know its been almost a year since I've posted anything, and I am truly sorry. I have missed posting, and I know that so much has happened in mine and Finn's life, that its hard to keep up just through Instagram and Facebook.. so thank you for being patient with me!! I know you're all wondering why I have suddenly decided to come out of blogging hibernation, so here it is: I stepped back for a while for personal reasons, which leads to this blog post today.

   I'm here to say that I will not apologize for being a teen mother. Yes, I've read the nasty comments online, and I see the shocked stares in the local Winn Dixie, and at school. Yes, I am 16. And yes, I have a baby.

   If you've read this blog before, then you already know the story of Finnley Grace and I. You'll know that I had her when I was 15 years old, and that it has changed my life completely. She has been a complete blessing to me, her father, family, friends, and many others. Some people on the other hand, don't see this experience as I do. When they look at me, they see an irresponsible teenager who got stuck with a baby. Trust me, I've heard it all, and have been called all of those terrible names that are running through your head.

  For a while, these negative comments got to me. I cried, I was mad, and I started to think of myself differently. I believed those comments and I was ashamed of myself for thinking that way. I then realized what I was thinking was wrong. I loved my baby girl dearly and I would do anything, and be called anything for her. That day I told myself that I was done believing the media, and I prayed. I asked Jesus to forgive me and get all of this shame and hatred out of my heart that I had towards the ugly comments and myself. I was done with letting the world control me. I knew that my Lord loved me and that he always would.

  Lametations 3:22-23
         The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; They are new every morning; Great is your faithfulness.

  I know that my God is so forgiving and that His love is unconditional towards all. He forgives me for sinning. He forgives me for doubting Him. He forgives us daily even when we do stupid worldly things.

  The whole purpose of this post is this: I will not apologize for being a teen mother. I will never regret having my baby girl. I will never let your negative nasty comments get to me ever again. You can call me irresponsible, stupid, too young, naive, but you will never take away the love I have for my baby. I know that Jesus forgives. He forgives all sins, even the messy ones. You can all say that my teenage pregnancy was a huge mistake and that God will never forgive my sin of having sex or a child before marriage, but I know who my God is. I know that Finnley was never a mistake, because God doesn't make mistakes. So go ahead with all of the negative comments, and keep staring because I carry my head high, my heart full, and a baby on my hip, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

  Thank you for the ones who have supported me and my journey so far, you all are a huge blessing to Finnley and I. Thank you to everyone who will read this blog, and will understand where I'm coming from, Most importantly, thank you to my Lord and Savior because without you I am nothing.

  'til next time! Temple

All Things

Hello all! I am so terribly sorry that I haven't posted anything in a while! My life has been crazy.

What has made me so crazy and behind on everything is that my family just moved. Yeah, I know. I didn't see it coming either. Its been really hard on me and my family leaving where me and all of my siblings basically grew up. Leaving friends was so hard. The day that we packed our house and started our journey to Callahan, Florida was a long, hot, and sweaty day! We started at 8 that morning and didn't leave until almost 5.

I sometimes question my parents and God about all of this. "Why did we have to move? Things were great in Graceville. I can't leave all my friends and my home." The move has been the hardest on me out of anyone in my family, but God has really helped me through all of this. A verse comes into my mind when I start to think about everything. Romans 8:28 helps me get through the tough days of missing home. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

ALL THINGS. Everything that happens is for a purpose, and I realizing that more and more everyday. I know God has great plans for all of this happening, and we will get through it day by day. Even in your life, the things that are happening for the best. God knows what he's doing, and he has a great plan for all of us. We see the here and now, but God sees our future, and it's for the best.

My grandmother use to write songs for my mom's family to travel and sing. One od my favorites is called "All Things", and it is about Romans 8:28. "All things, the Lord says all things, work together for the good, of those who love him as they should. All things, both big and small things, work together for those who love the Lord." I constantly catch myself singing this in my head and it helps make my day better.

Update on Finnley: she is getting so big, and she can hold her bottle now!! Won't be long till she's crawling and talking! Someone make the time stop!

I hope you all enjoyed this, I know it wasn't long, but at least its something!

Til next time, Temple.

Expectation vs. Reality

We all have those moments in life where we see something so beautiful or picture perfect that we try to capture it as quick as we can, but by the time we snap the picture the moment is long gone. This happens a lot, especially with kids. One moment, they are laughing and smiling like crazy and then right when you get your phone out to capture the moment its gone. Of course, some of us are luckier than others when it comes to capturing these. We all see the picture perfect moments on instagram or facebook, but did you ever think what happened before or after that picture was taken?

Motherhood is kind of like this at times. The perfect pictures on instagram are the expectations that people tend to have. But, lets get real guys. Finnley is not always happy and giggly 24/7. She throws tantrums when she's too tired, and if she's still hungry when you finish feeding her you will know for sure. I've had so many people tell me, "Finnley is so precious! I'm so jealous!". Yes, I know that she's adorable and all, but why are you jealous?? Being a mom is way harder than it looks, trust me! You all see the cute family pictures and selfies of me and Finn all over social media, but the reality of all this is huge. She throws up when you feed her too much, getting up in the middle of the night is no fun (thank goodness she sleeps through the night now), and the temper tantrums will make you cry and be worried that you can't stop it.

I'm just going to be honest with you guys, I'm still catching up on sleep from the first 2 months with Finnley. And, I'm sure all the mother's who read this can relate with me. I am never on time to places. Ever. Do you know how much stuff you have to pack when you have a kid? Might as well carry around a suitcase! I also want to say that your life will be flipped completely upside down. When your baby naps, you nap. Always feed your baby before you eat, because its pretty hard to eat and feed them at the same time. You always want to have a good support system, because sometimes you just need those 5 minutes to yourself to breathe and pray that God will help you get through the day.

Another thing I want to talk about is the new reality I now have as a teen mom. As teenagers, we go out with friends a lot. Movies, sleepovers, bowling, or even just getting together to catch up. Now that I have became a mom, I haven't been able to hang out with friends as much, or do a lot of things I love doing. As a mom, your child comes first. This is one of the things that has hit me the hardest during this new part of life. My friends will want to get together one night and I have to say "no, I need to stay and put Finnley in bed." If I get asked to spend the night, "I can't, I need to be home for Finnley." I mean, of course I have parents that help me so much, but are they her mom? No, I am. I have cried over not being able to spend the night places, for having an early curfew, for not being a normal teenager, but at the end of the day I have to get over myself and just thank God that I'm healthy and that Finnley is healthy. I have to realize that its not all about me anymore.

The phrase "Everything happens for a reason." has been my motto these past couple of months. We don't know why or how things happen, but we know that it is for a purpose. I look at my baby girl, and I don't feel frustration about what I can and can't do. All I feel is love, and hope. I know that God is going to work through me and her in so many ways that I don't even know about yet. Everything happens for a reason, we just have to be patient and trust in God, because he knows what he's doing. This is the reality of everything, and its scary. But, what helps me get through the day is knowing that God is on my side.

Thank you all for reading, hope you enjoy!
 Til next time, Temple

Sharing The News

I hope all of you guys enjoyed the story of Meeting Finnley Grace! I wanted to share in this post how it was telling everyone about my little miracle. It was honestly one of the most scary things I have ever gone through (besides having Finnley) I was scared to hear how people would react to this and how they would take it.

Some people took this news better than others for sure! Especially Finnley's father. I wasn't actually there when he was told about Finnley, I just heard how the talk went, and that he took it well. I told my dad that we had to tell Tyler about Finnley on the 18th. Yes, this was 2 days after she was born. I wanted to tell Tyler myself, but I wasn't able to leave the hospital, and I didn't want to wait, or call him on the phone. So, my dad texted him that day saying he needed to talk to him about something and that it needed to be after he got out of school. My dad left to go meet Tyler at around 3:30 that day, and he was gone for over 2 hours!! This really scared me, I was with mom and I kept saying, "Its been a long time. Are they okay? Should I call them?" She had to keep me calm from not calling both of them. What I eventually found out is that they went to Dairy Queen to talk. I guess its easier to tell people big news with a mouth full of ice cream! After they had talked, my dad and Tyler came up to the hospital. I, of course, went into panic mode by saying "Do I look bad mom?", and of course I did! I hadn't slept for the past 2 days, so I was freaking tired. Hadn't showered or anything. I'm sure I didn't smell to good, but you'll have to ask Tyler about that! :)

I know that he was scared to death, just like I was. He has really been great through all of this. Tyler, you're a great dad to Finnley! Don't let anyone tell you different!

"I was scared at first especially having to tell my mom, papa, family and closest friends, and of course everyone else. But after I told them, I had so much support and everyone was happy for me. I didn't know why they were happy at first, but now I can see why they are. She is a beautiful little girl, and I'm so proud to call her mine and be her dad. I will always be there for her no matter what, and I am in love with her. She makes me laugh and smile so much just being herself. Her personality is awesome, and I know when she gets older she is going to be so amazing! I can't wait to see her grow into the beautiful young lady she'll become." -Tyler Marchman

Now, telling my friends was a whole different story. One of the first people I told was my best friend, Lauryn. The Wednesday before I had Finnley, she got a really bad concussion. So, when I told her she was still kind of out of it ;) Just kidding! But, of course she was shocked! I called her and I told her everything over the phone and she was just like "You're kidding, there's no way!" I finally got her to believe me and she immediately said, "I'm coming tomorrow, and I'm buying her stuff." Surely enough, the next day she came. (with bags full of baby stuff I might add!) She even brought me a milkshake from Chick-Fil-A, because she's the bomb. When she came to this hospital, we walked around the floor I was on for about an hour, and she had no judgement towards me, and supported me 100%.

I know it was a shock for your best friend to become a baby mama, but thank you for supporting me through all of this! Thanks for being Finnley's Aunt Lala, and my best friend!

"Well I knew we had been best friends since kindergarten, and nothing could separate us. And that no matter what was happening I was going to be on your side, and help you through everything you were about to face. Even though I had no clue about what was to come.. I was still gonna be there, and , help you, and make you smile or laugh when you need it, or just cuddle with you and Finnley Grace. because you are my best friend and I love you unconditionally." -Lauryn Smith

Telling everyone else wasn't that hard. My parents told our church and they helped supply diapers, wipes, a stroller, a car seat, a pack and play, and so many other things. They were so supportive and helpful to me and my family during this time, and they continue to support us today. When I told some of my friends, they had a hard time believing me. I even had to send a picture to prove it to my friend Evie! All of my friends have been really supportive through this though. I mean, of course I had people who said the typical things, "She's only 15 and has a baby? Such a whore." yes, these things have been said about me, but you know, I just have to brush them off. I know the true story, my friends, and family know the truth and that's all that matters!

I know you guys also want to know the reality of things, not just the picture perfect moments I post on Instagram. I'll be real with you, being a teen mother is hard work. Us teens are use to staying up and doing all-nighters, well motherhood takes staying up all night to another level! Thankfully, Finnley sleeps through the night now, but unless you are a mom, you have never experienced being that tired. Of course, it is all worth it at the end of the day, because you have your sweet little angel to cuddle and play with. You will never know how much love and effort your parents put in to taking care of you until you have a child of your own. Be thankful for your parents and family, they support you and love you through thick and thin. My family has been so supportive through all of this and I couldn't thank them enough!

Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Til next time, Temple

Meeting Finnley Grace

I know many of you have wondered about the story of Finnley Grace, and I finally am able to type it all out!

It all started with a doctors appointment that morning. I had a small amount of unexpected weight gain and of course my parents and I were concerned. My mom had surgery in January to remove a mass, so she was afraid that I may have the same thing. So; Monday, February 16th, I went to my pediatrician (yes, I was still going to the kid doctor). We got in pretty fast and of course, we waited for the doctor to come in. When he finally came in he asked all the typical questions they would ask for a check up at the doctor. Everything had been normal, and nothing was wrong with me except for some weight gain. Then "the question" came up. I told him everything and he asked me to lay on the table to feel my stomach. I laid down, and he pushed on spots of my stomach and he says
"Well, there is definitely a mass in there. I want to take a urine sample."

I'm starting to get worried at this point. I go to the bathroom, do my thing, get out, and hand them the cup. We wait in our room when the doctor comes in after a few minutes and says, "It was an extremely positive pregnancy test. But, sometimes, certain things can cause false positives. I'm going to send you to the hospital for a sonogram." He calls the medical center, gets my appointment set up for that day, and we leave the doctors office. I was in complete and utter shock.

By this time, it is noon and of course I'm hungry. My mom and I go to Subway and get lunch. I could barely eat anything because I was scared, and in shock. It comes times for my appointment and we head to the medical center. After sitting in the waiting room FOREVER, we finally get called back. I get back to my room, and we start the sonogram. The nurse was young and so sweet. She started the sonogram and I am staring at the wall, avoiding all eye contact. I hear her clicking on her computer and she looks at me and smiles, "There's the baby!". At this moment I cry and start having a panic attack. My mom's jaw is dropped and she says to the girl, "We just found out today.". The young nurse quiets her voice and speaks, "Oh, well I'm going to take some measurements.", she starts tapping and clicking away at the computer.

After a while, my eyes are red and puffy and I am wheezing from all the crying. My mom is by my side, holding my hand as tight as she can (and keeping it together really well). The nurse speaks again, "You are measuring at 39 weeks and 2 days. The baby isn't moving so we need to get you in a room and put monitors on you." My nurse also explains that I am too far along to know if its a boy or girl. My jaw drops and I look to my mom to know what to do. I get dressed and we follow the nurse to my room.

We get to my room. It is almost 2:30 pm. I undress, get on my gown, and they put the monitors on my stomach. "Have you ate any today?" my nurse asked me. My mom answered because I have gone mute by now. "She ate breakfast but that was hours ago." The nurses then give me fluids so that the baby will start to move. I'm laying in the bed and mom is doing everything to make me feel better She was being so supportive in any way she could. We sit for hours while nurses file in and out of my room. By this point my blood pressure is sky rocketing, which is not good for the baby at all. I have a nurse check on me and she asks "Do you feel that?" I reply, "Feel what?" She looks amazed, "You're having contractions sweetheart, you can't feel that?" Apparently I have a very high pain tolerance, considering I never felt the baby move or kick.

My doctor finally comes into my room. He looks me straight in the face and says "Well, you're blood pressure is getting too high, we're going to start prepping you for a c-section." They take me to a new room and start to prep me for surgery. My family finally gets to the hospital. My siblings just stare at me, wondering what is going on. By this time, I am having a full blown panic attack. I scream and tell my mom I can't do it, that I'm scared, and that I'm not ready to be a mom. They finally calm me down with washcloths on my head and an oxygen mask on my face. We then head back to the operating room.

They get ready to do my spinal tap and talk me through everything they are doing. I was so in shock that I didn't even feel when they stuck the needle in my back. They then lay me down to start my c-section. My parents come in and sit beside me to help me through the surgery. I honestly was so out of it during my c-section. I was falling asleep and loopy. I know that I remember seeing my sweet baby girl for the first time. 7 pounds and 20 inches long! She was so tiny and barely cried at all. My parents told me that while I was getting sowed up, that she was blowing spit bubbles, and sticking her tongue out constantly. I didn't have a name for her yet, so we called her "Little Frog" since she liked so stick out her tongue.

God blessed me with my sweet little angel this day. He had a plan for all of this! I don't know why he chose me, but I am thanking him everyday for my beautiful girl! Of course, it was a long, stressful, and scary day. My mom and I joke, "It was the worst morning, but the best day!" So, this was the story of meeting my sweet Miss Finnley Grace. Yes, it's a very long story, and I hope it was worth the read! In my next post I will talk about how it was telling Finnley's father, my friends and family, and how things changed so quickly for me. Feel free to comment and I hope you all enjoyed!

Temple

Welcome To My Life

Hello friends, family members, fellow bloggers, and the random people of the internet! As most of you now know, my name is Temple Graham. Throughout this blog I am wanting to share my story and my new life of becoming a mom at the age of 15. If any of you have looked on my instagram, facebook, or twitter you have seen a ton of my sweet baby girl's face and personality! But for those of you who haven't....

There she is, the princess herself! Yes, she is 3 months old. (almost 4!!) Finnley Grace has the cutest little personality I've seen -I know I'm biased;) - and she is a spoiled little booger too!

As you saw in the description, throughout my blog you will see me talk about the changes and adventures there are to being a teenage mom. I also will pull in close friends, and family members to write segments on the blog so you can see the points of view of some of the closest people in mine, and Finnley's life.

As you know, there is a story to all of this, and I can't wait to share it with you all! Feel free to leave comments & questions, and I will surely respond to all of them in my next post about the story of meeting Finnley! 

hope you enjoy , Temple